Hooligan house features

Rick asks:

However, you have not told us where the vomitorium is going to be. You know, the room that you can roll your drunk friends into, where the pizza and vomit stains on the floor are considered part of the ambiance.

Traditionally, the ‘Vomitorium’ is usually in the basement, which in most houses is usually unfinished or at least has one unfinished area (read: easily hosed down) that can easily serve the required function.

However, seeing as how Charleston is in the Lowcountry, and houses here typically have no basements (it’s not called the Lowcountry for nothing you know) it’s not really practical for the new house to have an indoor Vomitorium.

Fortunately, Charleston is sufficiently warm year-round (by Canadian Hooligan standards) that I think the screened-in porch out back could serve quite adequately as an outdoor Vomitorium. It has the benefit of being open with good air flow (so beer flatulence doesn’t build up), is easily hosed down and dries quickly and has ample space for a large group of slumbering Hooligans. Easy access to the outdoors also means no stumbling around searching for the bathroom in an unfamiliar place.

He also asked:

And what about the whore closet? You have to ask pTom and Leanne about that room! although I do believe that pJoe was responsible for naming that one.

Although I’m not familiar with this ‘whore closet’, there are a few places that could serve what I imagine the required function to be. Up in the FROG there are a couple of gnome-sized doors on either side to access a small amount of storage area. There is room in here for maybe 3 or 4 people (2 or 3 large ones) on each side. It is open to the outside though, so these people might have to share the space with the occasional squirrel, bat or other critter.


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One Reply to “Hooligan house features”

  1. Hmmm, no knowledge of the whore closet, eh?
    Well, let me tell you. The whore closet is where you keep your best, most essential appliance: the beer fridge. And your whores. If you have any. Accessorising your beer fridge with a whore or two will enable you to keep your undivided attention upon the television, gaming table, previous beers, food, computer screen, etc. You might not think this is a big deal, but wait until you’re playing catch up on the frag list during a really good LAN party.
    The original whore closet was dubbed so through the use of paint. The best time to dub the whore closet is during the first coat of paint. The sheet rock is perfectly set for the dubbing. In fact, the first ever whore closet was dubbed in such a fashion. The dubbing was so effective that even our fellow hooligans’ wife began to refer to the space as the whore closet.

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