Cult of Hoo: Shuswapian Bestiary

The Shuswap area is populated with a variety of wildlife, some harmless and a few less so.

Shuswapian Rope Snakes

The rope snake is a long, thin creature, usually blue in colour, but occasionally black ones can be found. They are often found in groups and generally hunt as a pack. Their favourite hunting tactic is to disguise themselves as a houseboat mooring line, lying in wait for an unsuspecting beach wanderer. When in range, the rope snake strikes, tangling itelf around the person’s feet and causing them to trip. The attack of a rope snake is swift and vicious, often leaving the victim with damaged and scarred feet.

Shuswapian fart mice (Peromyscus flatulatus)

Fart mice and belch toads (see below) are among the more innocuous creatures found in the area. They make a variety of sounds, ranging from almost inaudible ‘pffft’ noises to loud trumpeting sounds. Fart mice also emit a rather unpleasant odour from specialized scent glands which has been known to clear out a houseboat full of Hooligans. After having stowed away in someone’s car, fart mice can now be found everywhere.

Shuswapian belch toads (Bufo erectator)

Another of the more harmless creatures, belch toads can be heard day or night emitting loud burping sound, sometimes loud enough to rattle windows.

Gronk Monsters

Gronk monsters are the bane of Hooligans, creeping up from behind and grabbing them, usually to dunk into the lake. Few have ever successfully evaded an attacking gronk monster. Gronk monsters get their name from the “GRONK!!!” sound they make before attacking. However, by the time the victim hears the gronk monster, he’s usually already in the lake.

Ubangi Warrior / Kokanee Warrior

Fierce warriors of the Shuswap area. Can be identified by their distinctive face and body painting

Flash’s Ghost Swallow (Hirudo lemuri)

A small nocturnal bird first identified by Flash when it apparently flew into one of the houseboat windows and promptly disappeared.

Hangover Faeries

Hangover faeries are invisible sprites that attack Hooligans to get them inebriated. They hit you over the head so you wake up with a headache, kick you in the stomach so you feel sick and pukey, and steal all your money and fill your pockets with change. They will also slip tiny hearing aids into your ears turned up all the way so even the quietest noise seems really loud.

Rocky Mountain Barking Spider (Dolomedes brontus)

A water spider which hangs under the surface and emits a cry very similar to that of the belch toad.

Kleep-kleep crabs

A strange species of crab which walks around on land with long spindly limbs clicking it’s claws together making a kleep-kleep sound.

Plank Trolls

Plank trolls live underneath extended houseboat planks and eat mainly spilled beer and oreo cookies. Their favourite hunting technique is to lay in wait underneath their plank and grab the foot of anyone attempting to cross. This usually makes the unsuspecting victim trip and spill their drink or food.