Hooligan Ramblings: Communing with Dagon

On rare occasions (being exceptionally intoxicated), Geezus has managed to commune with a being known as Dagon. Little is known about Dagon aside from a few writings made by Geezus after these ‘sessions’.

This is the tale of the interesting hallucination/drunken vision/daydream I had last night at the fireside. After a long and prosperous day of many beers, vodka, ammaretto and other substances too illicit to mention, I (Jesus) was sitting staring mellowly into the fire, listening to Billy Idol tunes. Slowly I became aware that each of my hairs was tipped with a tiny bloodshot cat’s eye. The irises of each eye would shift in colour across the spectrum as I moved my head back and forth. There was something mildly malevolent in the gaze of these thousands of tiny eyes. But I was not scared, because it was a nice day for a white wedding. The tiny eyes were able to communicate empathically, and were able to convince me to follow them. They took me into a very large cave which was not so much illuminated as illustrated. It was a gorgeous charcoal sketch with shadows & perspectives by MC Escher. Huge stalagmites flowed organically from the ceiling and uneven stalactites jutted from the floor (This struck me as unusual, as usually those structures are found in the opposite direction of the cave). We suddenly accelerated, the eyes leading the way. They guided me at tremendous velocities, zipping in and around the limestone columns in a feat of animation that would make George Lucas and Walt Disney pee themselves in envy. Our velocity and direction would change depending on the beat of the music, flying through narrow passages and wide caverns. Eventually we came to the center of the web-like maze of caves. There, floating in the middle of the air was a tremendously large octopus. His name was Dagon, and he had the same eyes as had taken over my hair. He writhed his tentacles in greeting, mucous dripping from his enormous arms and obviously venomous beak. Dagon spoke. “Hi Jesus,” he rumbled, subsonics reverberating and vibrating my balls. “Howsit going?” he asked. “Most drunkenly excellent” I slurred. “Cool” Dagon said, and then someone stepped on my hand and I woke up.

Geezus describes a visit from Dagon during Houseboat Hooligans 5

Once again, Dagon visited last night. As Chris Whitly played, I could see him riding a pink cloud in a sunset sky. This time it was my responsibility to find him, no hair guides would be provided. Climbing (with a few minutes of rations), I found a site on the forest moon of Endor. A giant white gryphon arrived, bowing his head in respect and recognition of my exalted state of consciousness. I mounted the gryphon (Har), and he lept into the air. Trees flew by at an alarming rate, screaming around obstacles until we broke from the trees over the lake. Campfires were visible below, and quickly left behind. We headed west, attempting to gain a last look at the sun. Shadows flew across the clouds below, silver and black. Wind blew back my hair. Dagon could be seen ahead – floating and waving his tentacles. He seemed less malevolent, almost happy. CCR was playing. He was attended by his servants – several black, oily, spindly creatures. They looked like a cross between a dragonfly, naeid and a salamander. Bug eyes, long whip-like tails and extrudible mandibles. They chittered to each other as we approached. Dagon wiggled a little, and said in his booming ball-rumbling voice “Howzit goin, eh. Long time no see.” I just shrugged, still wondering what he wanted. “Just chill dude, let the water drip up the spout, let it go and let it all hang out.” As I awoke on the forest floor, I realized he meant this as a general philosophy of life, and one I hope I can live up to. I shook the leaves and mice out of my hair, and returned to the boat.