Strange Dreams

In most of my dreams, I’m watching myself doing something. Last night I had a peculiar dream where I was making soup. There I am, standing at the stove stirring a pot of soup. I decided it needed some pepper, so I sprinkled some in. Then I looked over at our new pepper grinder, and decided the soup needed more pepper. So I grabbed it, and have it a few twists. Grind grind grind. Then grind grind grind some more. Eventually after some indeterminate grinding time, I looked in and saw the top of the soup pot covered in pepper. Then I woke up.

There really didn’t seem to be any point to the dream. Just pepper and soup.

Vocabulary differences.

I’m Canadian, my wife is American. I’m from the West, she’s from the East. So naturally, each of us has a different vocabulary set. There are a few items that I call one thing, and her by another.

Monday for example, we were at Office Depot to get a laser pointer for a presentation she was doing. At the last minute, she remembered she needed something called postal tape. She tells me to go get the postal tape. So I head off and then realize that I have no idea what postal tape is.

Me (staring blankly): Huh?

Her: Postal tape!

Me: Postal tape? What the heck is this postal tape you’re talking about?

Her: That clear tape you use for packages!

Me (understanding finally dawns on my face): Oh, packing tape!

The same thing happens when I try to tell her what the temperature is outside or give her anything in metric units. She just stares at me blankly until I break down and work out the conversion in my head.

She occasionally pokes fun at some of my Canadian pronunciation. I occasionally mock her accent, which she occasionally slips into when she gets excited or is talking to friends from back home.

Pop vs soda, postal vs packing tape, C vs F, zed vs zee. Yes, we’re different. And that’s probably the way it will stay.

Bones, bones, bones

I have a skeleton.

No, not the one inside my body holding me up and not the ones in my closet either. It’s one of those display skeletons you might find in your doctor’s office, or an anatomy lab. It’s not one of those cheesy plastic ones either. This is an actual skeleton, with real bones.

I was walking through our department mail area, and there it was propped up next to the photocopier with a sign saying “I’m headless and homeless. Find me a home”.

It’s not in the greatest shape, and it’s definitely seen better days. It’s been decapitated. The arms have been lopped off and the legs have been amputated below the knees. So I guess it’s just a torso with dangly bits. Some of the nuts, bolts and springs holding the joints together are missing or damaged, so some of the bones bend quite unnaturally. But aside from that, it’s largely intact.

I think it’ll make an interesting decoration for my office, once I find a place for it. Unless of course my wife decides to nab it so she can review her anatomy.

Slow news week

It’s been quiet lately. One of those slow news weeks where nothing notable really happens. I like these periods. Gives me some time to unwind and focus on other things.

Finally finished Naked Empire by Terry Goodkind. The 8th book in that epic Sword of Truth series. I thought this book was better than the last one. I think it wrapped up nicely, and seems to be starting to set the stage for the endgame. Now I have to go back and re-read the series again.

The last few books (6, 7 and 8) in the series have been rather interesting. The more I think about them, the more they seem like a philosophical treatise on the nature of people, free will and the morality of the choices people make, disguised as a fantasy novel. Perhaps this is what the author is trying to do. Some of it is very thought provoking. I’ll have to read the series all over again to try to collect them all in my head for further analysis.

In the meantime, I leave you with Wolf_Gal’s collection of the Wizard’s Rules from the Sword of Truth Series.

  • Wizard’s First Rule: People are stupid.
  • Wizard’s Second Rule: The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
  • Wizard’s Third Rule: Passion rules reason.
  • Wizard’s Fourth Rule: There is magic in sincere forgiveness.
  • Wizard’s Fifth Rule: Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie.
  • Wizard’s Sixth Rule: The only soverign we can allow to rule us is reason.
  • Wizard’s Seventh Rule: Life is the future, not the past.
  • And from the latest book,
  • Wizard’s Eighth Rule: Deserve victory

No, really, that’s not me.

My friends at work have decided the US Army Muslim chaplain that was arrested over the weekend looks like me. I don’t really see it, but I guess I’m under arrest now at the Naval Brig in Charleston, SC.

At least I’m not far from home.