Hooligan Ramblings: Jaques Fondue

Jaques Fondue writes (in a bad french Canadian accent) of discovering a new creature, the Rocky Mountain Ginch Goose.

Sacre-vert! Ah ‘ave at last length located de ‘Ooligans in Cybairspece! Ah ‘ave jest caime fram an intrepid expeditien to de remote lend of Amorous Amazons. Eht waz vera dangairous zo ah mast refrain fram inadvairdantly enfairming yew ‘ave itz lacation. Owhevair, ‘ah fail det et iz mah swarn ahbligaytien az ahn envaironmahntalist prezairvaitienest to raipert de descovairy ahv ehnozair beeztiarie tahpe ehntree: Ah gave yew de: Racky Mahntain Ginch Goose! Ah discovaired eet in a mast tragick feshion. De Ginch Goose iz de wan witch hez ahn ahfinite’ wit de eelastick benhd evh yer ahnderwair. Ah well elaboraite en grater dehtails an’ specificks eht ah layter dete’. Noat: Der’ ez somezing to beh sed fer dose Dactair Dehntists longjehns ah hused te wair!

Once, a note written by Jacques Fondue was found. The note said:

Help! We are lost, have run out of rations and are forced to live on food and water! Send supplies quickly or we are doomed!

A log entry from Jacques Fondue from a Houseboat Hooligans trip

Jacques Fondue writes: Sacre Bleu Cheese Dressing! Today is a day that will live in infancy! My trusted (formerly) crew mutinied. Those illegible bastards! How dare they challenge, my penultimate authority? My decision to accept the loss of two crew members to save the greater welfare was not met well. Initially the crew had no ejections, however, upon recovery of our windward shore party (Jade and her man Chris) the two of them injected a mutiny. The result was rather a riotous result. My stuporior skills in the marital arts were to no match for their numerous numbers. I am afeared that I was overruined. They made me the target of many a jape and jest. I was farced to injure a dowsing of libations and the most haitian crime of having an adhesive material applicated to my nethermost epidermal follicles. (Kin yew say pane, boys and girls?) Fornicatiously, I was able to confiscate them by insisting that they could not reprieve me from my bondables to the railing without appallachianing. They did not regenerate until posthumously portraying mine portrait. Having been freed, I have been cautious in reassisting mine authority. These people are a turgid lot and are temperaturemental. However, I breathe a sigh of relish that this expectoration is near collusion. My chances of surrealism are good. Until next time.