Category: Cult of Hoo

Beer and Captain Crunch do not a tasty breakfast make. Even when you’re hung over.

Especially when you’re hung over. But it’s a combination you can only come up with when you’re hung over.

Really, really hung over.

The Great and Holy Hoo has passed onto Haysoos the 10 Hooligan Commandments! (edited for language to keep this blog rated G).

Read them, and spread them forth so that the Words of Hoo may reach everyone!

1. Thou shalt harm none, and do as thou will
2. Thou shalt initially honour every person met as though they deserve respect, until they prove otherwise
3. Thou shalt boink who thou pleases. If everyone is consenting, the more the merrier
4. Thou shalt not kill, club, poke, stab or otherwise f*** with people who aren’t f***ing with you
5. Thou shalt intentionally accomplish nothing one day a week. You pick which one
6. Thou shalt be willing to learn. Ignorance can be cured, stupidity is forever
7. Thou shalt pet the puppies and the kitties
8. Thou shalt treat all water sources as if you had to drink it
9. Thou shalt not trust anyone who relies on votes for his or her job
10. Thou shalt not f*** with stuff that is not yours

On the heels of one Hooligan wedding Friday (congratulations again to the round-headed kid and his blonde-haired girl…sorry I couldn’t make the festivities) comes word of another wedding allegedly coming soon. Best known for going underground and vanishing for months at a time, he’s surfaced once again to let me know he’s gotten himself engaged and thinking of a cruise ship wedding possibly in the spring.

Someone’s going to have to go along and make sure he doesn’t forget his wallet.

Over on Slashdot there’s a post about some guys testing the effects of filtering cheap vodka.

A comment on the Slashdot posting reminded me of the ‘Flaming Sambuca’s’ that were consumed on a houseboating trip one year. The Flaming Sambuca was a simple trick. Pour some Sambuca into a shot glass and light it on fire. After a second or so put your hand on the glass. The oxygen will be burned up by the flame, and the glass gets stuck to your hand by the vacuum. Then remove the glass and suck the vapours out, then down the shot.

One of my friends, in a fit of drunken creativity, created a variant of the trick where instead of using his hand, he stuck the drink to his butt. Thus was born the “Butt-buca”! Being drunk, there was much amusement in this and the round red hickeys left on their butts.

Later, after a post-houseboating house party, he was showing off the Buttbuca. This time, the trick went tragically wrong (for him). He left it on too long, the shot glass got stuck and he couldn’t get it off. All of us were rolling on the ground in pain because we were laughing so hard at him running around yelling “It’s stuck! It’s stuck! Get it off!”

Of course none of us wanted to get close enough to his ass to help him remove the shot glass. When he did finally get it off, there was this massively red hickey that left a mark for weeks.

Music can be a power trigger for memories, so when I stumbled on a copy of Moxy Fruvous’ Live Noise album at the local Cat’s Music, I just had to have it.

Had to have it because of 2 songs: The Drinking Song and King of Spain. Two undeniably classic Houseboating songs.

Ahh, fond memories.